Melancholy Musings

Yesterday I took the Peanut to an "undisclosed location" for a walk and to experience the unpredictable and melancholy weather that is Fall here in the Hudson Valley.  The word "melancholy" often denotes a mournful and gloomy meaning, but it also means "sober thoughtfulness and pensiveness;"  pensive means "dreamily or wistfully thoughtful."  Two words never fit so perfectly together to describe the Hudson Valley; the weather and the woods, the air and the wind, the wide and winding Hudson River, and the ever changing clouds and weather, all whisper those two words together.  When I was younger, I could never explain how I felt, I never really understood until now how my feelings change just as the HV does.  It isn't merely the weather that changes, the rain or sunshine; it is all of the elements together that are ever changing, moment to moment; it is in the air and the wind and the way the sun shines through the leaves on a tree.  I never understood until now how that can affect one's spirit so profoundly  and carry through no matter where the physical body is.

When I lived in Hawaii, it was almost always sunny.  The weather rarely changed from day to day, so when it was a rainy day or windy, I always enjoyed the change.  One would think that constantly sunny weather equates to constant happiness, but it wasn't so.  Happiness, thoughtfulness, melancholia, and pensiveness all go beyond mere weather in a place.  All of those elements have to be together and whisper it to everyone and everything in that place.  Hawaii did not have that--I could not feel it no matter how much I wanted to, but I could feel the anger, hostility, and resentment.   No matter how beautiful the scenery, feeling those things coming from the land and its people can make a place not only look ugly but feel ugly too. 

My heart was always here in the HV; I have never felt a connection to a place, other than the Adirondacks, such as the one that I feel for the HV.  What I never understood until now is how the HV and I are inexplicably woven together.  Wherever I went, my feelings and moods were ever changing, just as the HV was though I was gone;  it is a kinship to the HV that I now understand.  I also never truly understood the words "melancholy" and "pensive" until now, but they describe the HV and I perfectly.  The HV's nature is forever woven into the fiber of my being and I will always miss it when we are apart.  Some people never have the opportunity to find a place that fits them so perfectly.  Had I not left and experienced life in other places, I might not have either.  So many people think that "the grass is always greener on the other side," we've had a lot of rain this year and the grass is a lush and gorgeous green as I have ever seen.